Day 10 – …In Everything…

Chapter 10 – Divine Splendor
Yoga Teacher – Annie Carpenter
Breathwork Teacher – Michael Brian Baker

In the “Love Service Devotion – Ram Dass on the Bhagavad Gita” talks from 1974, Ram Dass proposes some interesting instruction in reading the Gita. He suggests reading it three times: once just as a story, the second time from the point of view of Arjuna and the third from the point of view of Krishna.

The latter two are both fascinating depending on where your at with your own personal trip. If you’re reading the Gita while going through a very difficult life challenge then perhaps taking it in from Arjuna’s perspective might suit you. And if your reading it from a place of trying to make sense of what, or perhaps who, God is then imagining it from Krishna’s perspective is very very extraordinary.

In Chapter 10 Arjuna is really starting to understand who Krishna is but he’s not all the way there. Basically he says “Krishna. Dude. Who the hell are you?!?” The secrets of the universe are becoming evident to Arjuna and it’s blowing his mind so hard that he has no choice but to make Krishna a) tell him who he is and b) prove it. Krishna does both.

Back to the previous point, of taking it in via Krishna’s POV, there is something so graceful here that it’s worth exploring. Imagine that you are guiding your friend through the most chaotic and challenging situation here but your manifestation of Godhead is so sound and secure that in the midst of this chaos everything is calm, cool and collected. You’re basically telling your friend “whatever’s going on is going to be ok. just remember me and know that I’m everything.” Krishna’s grace in this chapter is really beautiful, fierce but beautiful.

Krishna says in Verse 4 “Discrimination, wisdom, understanding, forgiveness, truth, self control, and peace of mind; pleasure and pain, birth and death, fear and courage, honor and dishonor, nonviolence, charity, equanimity…all of the living qualities found in living creatures have their source in me.”

This is a very important discourse here because Krishna is saying he has both positive and “negative” forces within him. He is resolute in telling Arjuna that duality of the world, the sometimes confusing dichotomies of life, are all necessary and are all aspects of God. How many times have we asked ourselves in life “If there is a God why does such and such happen?” It happens because it’s the order of things and with positive there sometimes can be negative. If you add science to the equation you know that all positive charges have an equally negative charge. The polarity of the universe is what keeps it in balance.

I’m not suggesting that we pretend to be Krishna or anything that outrageous but I am saying that if you believe there’s even a sliver of Gods supreme wisdom living inside of you then you can apply this wisdom when facing whatever challenge you may face. In this grand example Krishna is telling Arjuna that since I’m everything anyway, whatever you’re gonna do is going to be ok because it is the order of how I made it. Great stuff, and a great circle of thought to chew on.

And if you explore the Chapter even further the specifics of what Krishna says he is exactly is equally fascinating – especially when he refers to himself as being the “atman” and the syllable “om.” Many other, more involved, Hindu concepts are described here and are well worth looking into.

When applying this to a daily Yoga practice it helps to remember that not only am I a perfect manifestation of Gods (in this case Krishnas) creations but the practice itself is as well. Literally, when we engage in yoga we are doing a sacred dance that honors God.

I’ve reached a new level of comfort for sure in the practice, I can’t say that I’ve ever done 10 days in a row of yoga at a studio before. If I have I surely can’t remember. Now the challenges have reversed themselves. It’s the writing that’s become difficult while the practice is becoming easier and easier. On a technical note I noticed today that when doing Paschimottanasana (seated forward bend) that I can go down a good 50% more than I could 10 days ago. So for anyone wondering about what’s happening with the physical practice, there ya go. I found it incredibly gratifying and liberating.

I waited late to post today because I concluded the day with adding a different modality into the mix. I went to one of Michael Brian Baker’s breath work workshops with the intent of deepening my practice through the stuff that comes up doing that work. Too much to get into here, but my heart and mind is wide open and I’m very grateful that this world has an endless amount to offer.

Day 9 – The Royal Path

Day 9 – The Royal Path
Yoga Teacher – Micheline Berry

When you travel on a path for many years you become the path. The nature of the path become your nature. This is the reason why change takes so much time. We are aware of higher laws but we become attached to the path and continue on the same road every day. Tomorrow when you get up travel choose a different path. Don’t worry you will not get lost – Sri Vishwanath

The above thought provokes a paradox for anyone who has engaged on any sort of path at all. The attachment to the path. If you get attached to a path how can you make it your own? The word path literally implies that you are following something that is already laid out in front of you. It becomes an interesting notion when you adapt a path that appeals to you and add flourishes to it that are yours alone. The spiritual experience must be personalized, if not then you are following someone else’s dogma. A little dogma is good to get you started but building on it takes time and effort, thus the above statement that indicates “change takes so much time.”

In Chapter 9 we are hovering in what I call the in-between chapters of The Gita where the mysticism reigns supreme and we pay attention to the clear rather sensational instructions Arjuna is receiving. Never forget the context of The Gita – this “song of God” is being told to Arjuna inside of a chariot while sitting on a battlefield ready to engage in war against his own family. Imagine that you are dealing with the most complicated and profound problem that you’ve ever faced in your life and God tells you directly “Whatever you do make it an offering to me – the food you eat, the sacrifices you make, the help you give, even your suffering. In this way you will be free from the bondage of karma and from it’s results both pleasant and painful.” (verses 26-28). Huh? Far out.

The message in this is literally quite simple – see God in everything. In everyone. Always. Twelve step talks a lot about Gods wills vs. Self will and all that sorta inherent polarity that lies with the human condition. Because we are still granted the gift of free will the difference can be blurry. We are free to make our own decisions and to make our own mistakes, surely most wise teachers will tell us that our mistakes are really ingredients for learning. So, even if you are going against the grain of what seems like Gods will is it really Self will?

Rather if you choose to make everyone of your actions focussed on God the pain of the material world will lessen. There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt that this whole “game of life” is a bunk deal. When we take shape in this incarnation at this time we’re dealt a hand of cards that have to be played. We have to get jobs, make money, pay rent, deal with shitty LA traffic (or not), eat healthy food, deal with hurt feelings and so and so on. Our world is no longer built to just wander the plains picking delicious fruit while sitting by the river. Sometimes I don’t want to change my relationship to the game, I want to change the game itself. Tall order and rather delusional but you get my point.

Accepting where we are at and taking action with all of it can be tough. Keeping our focus on healthy beautiful things can be tough.

Again, that is why the practice of yoga works in spite of yourself. Today, at 6 am I really did not want to suit up and show up to sweat at a 7 am class. I was cranky, did not sleep well and full of the usual ramblings of the morning mind. Low and behold 10 minutes into the class it all went away and a rush of gratitude wore over me, almost to the point of astonishment. It amazes me that I can loose site of what’s so simple and beautiful and focus on all the crap that goes on between my ears. This simple practice is a miracle.

Day 8 – Steady Focus

Chapter 8 – The Eternal Godhead
Yoga Teacher – Brian Campbell

As progress on this path of yoga we don’t want to loose too much focus from the process of Being Here Now but at the same time every single person who takes birth in this material world questions the nature of death. What happens when we die?

It’s such a heavy and esoteric topic that surely I can’t do it justice in this blog at this time. Nearly every tradition has scriptures that focus on this topic – the Hindus have the Upanishads, The Buddhists have the Tibetan Book of the Dead and so on. Since “we are all here to go” as William Burroughs once said it’s of course natural to prepare for the inevitable.

Up to this point, Arjuna has been given clear instruction on karma yoga and maintaining righteousness in his actions. This is yoga in action. So when the moment of death comes he doesn’t suddenly turn from an unsavory person to that of a yogi and expect everything to be ok. This is why we practice everyday. Our part of the deal is to change our thinking which changes our behavior which changes our lives. It would be so easy if we could act a fool our whole lives and then just chant “hare krishna” and expect the transition to be perfect.

Based off this this understanding Arjuna does look ahead, probably too far, towards the moment of death and asks Krishna “How are the self-controlled united with you at death?”

We already know the answer to this as has been the subject of previous posts, however living in the material world will distract us from this. I know from very first hand experiences in dealing with the distractions in the form of addiction and other ego run wild diversions that falling off the path is easy, life is fragile. I find that everyone has a couple things in common – we all want to be loved and understood. If those desires go to far in the direction of pleasure (sex and drugs) for instance the balance is thrown off and we loose site of the ultimate form of love. We can use these tools as destructive methods if there is no basic for growth or reflection. Or if we put too much emphasis on having other people fulfill our needs and wants then we become co-dependent and can’t take care of ourselves. Somewhere in this there’s a balance – having other people around to love is great, experiencing sensual pleasure with a partner who you love and care about is great and having a satisfying occupational pastime is also great. Keeping it all in balance while focussed on god is the challenge and the true yoga.

Anyway, herein lies the reason I engage in yoga. As I stated before “in it’s ideal state practicing yoga is a moving meditation.” During that 90 minutes I can free myself from all the worries that go on in my life and have even a little glimpse at a relationship with Brahman. It’s a small step forward in my life for sure.

At this point, I am looking for focus. The discipline of a mere 8 days in a row of yoga is setting in, but it’s such a small amount of time that the need to sharpen my gaze is approaching. Besides being lost in the moving mediation what more can this practice offer me? Can I continue to find small miracles in an everyday asana practice? Do people who practice asana everyday really attain moksha or are they just really well settled in their bodies?

Looking forward to finding out.

Day 7 – Inner Wisdom

Chapter 7 – Wisdom from Realization
Yoga Teacher – Saul David Raye

It only takes someone slightly aware to look around the world and to see that we are a species run amok. We are insane by the very definition of the word. We are destroying our ability to live on the planet. We kill people who might believe in different ideas. We are poisoning our food. The list goes on and on. The same could be said if you go throughout human history and plot mans rise from birth to where we are now. It’s just that in today’s world the insanity is much more pronounced and rapid because the world has gotten smaller.

The path of yoga, while not an immediate fix, has long term benefits to quieting the insane mind because realization of love and compassion for everyone comes from the practice. Even in spite of yourself, the wisdom will still come. With all of the chatter in the mind, the misplaced ego, the hurt feelings and the lashing out against love – yoga will still win when practiced with sincerity. Of course, I don’t believe that it’s everyones path and without our species is doomed. However, I support the notion that we all must do our part, again with sincerity, to quell the thirst of destruction that is reaping our very existence. And yoga is a good start for some.

Chapter 7 deals much with the knowledge that can arise when engaged in focus of the divine – here it’s called “jnana.” However, this chapter has always taken finesse for me to understand because you have to step back to look at the difference between dualism and non-dualism when reading it. I, myself, am a non-dualist (advaita in sanskrit) so some of the language that Krishna uses here can throw you off if you don’t recognize the subtle variations when applying it to daily life.

Krishna starts the chapter very directly by saying “With your mind intent on me, Arjuna, discipline yourself with the practice of yoga. Depend on me completely. Listen, and I will dispel all your doubts; you will come to know me fully and be united with me.”

To some people who are automatically anti-spiritual this sort of talk might get mixed up with the radical dogma majority we see around the world today in wars and on TV. This, however, is not the case here. The advaita view on Vedanta states that when you view the self (atman) as part of the whole (Brahman) you can seek liberation through the practice of yoga. Therefore, Krishna is brahman and he is serving as a doorway for Arjuna to recognize his true divine self by merely telling him to seek refuge in God. And that God may be accessible always, even at times dwelling right inside of him. And when this is realized the supreme knowledge is granted and there is “nothing more you need to know.” (verse 2)

The chapter goes on and deals with complicated topics like finding peace after many many births and peoples misunderstanding that Krishna transcends birth and death. These are very important when understanding the Gita but too much for this blog.

The practice of yoga, ongoing with sincerity, when ones mind is transfixed on nothing but prema (love) will settle even the most insane thoughts. Today, my struggle is with acceptance. My ego and desires want some things to be a certain way. They may actually turn out that way which is great, but if they don’t the work is knowing that result must also be great. Otherwise I’m trapped.

Krishna says: “Delusion arises from the duality of attraction and aversion…every creature is deluded by these from birth.” (Verse 27)

Today’s yoga practice was so sweet, gentle and reminded me that it’s only my perception that mucks things up. I haven’t been talking too much about the specific teachers in previous posts because I’m going to save that for the end. Anyone who practices yoga in Los Angeles knows that we have access to some of the best practitioners of this science and my cup runneth over. I’m so grateful to be part of this community and to have access to such amazing teachers and teachings. Looking forward to tomorrow. Perhaps this is getting easier?

Day 6 – Going Inward

Chapter 6 – The Practice of Meditation
Yoga Teacher – Govindas

Today was a bit of a break through. Anyone who does any kind of practice knows that it’s only the repetition of the practice do the results come. After 5 days in a row of yoga today, the sixth day, felt really good. I was able to flow in a way where my mind was purely focused on the breath and not the struggle. It certainly helped that maha-teacher Govindas cultivated such good bhav that the room was charged.

This is karma yoga in action. When the self is performing it’s duties without any hang ups about what may lie on the other side. Doing hatha yoga isn’t exactly selfless service but it is a way to take a litmus test of gauging where you’re at and what your hang ups are.

The first five chapters of the Gita talk so much about karma yoga, action and how to detach the ego by focussing on the atman. Chapter 6 is interesting and unique to The Gita because it’s the first time that Krishna is giving detailed instruction for any kind of practice. Krishna instructs Arjuna on the path of meditation and even goes so far as to tell him to sit up straight to avoid drowsiness. Krishna is becoming astutely aware that Arjuna is indeed becoming a yogi, or at least should become a yogi.

This sort of discussion is more commonly found in the Yoga Sutras when referring to eight limbed yoga (ashtanga yoga). There has been much controversy of the years as to what the word “asana” means, most say it just means “seat.” So when Patanjali is talking about this limb of yoga he could very well have been talking about mediation and not what we call asana today. In essence, Krishna is also talking about the same thing.

Chapter 6 Verse 10 “Those who aspire to the state of yoga should seek the Self in inner solitude through meditation.”

Of course the Self referred to here is the atman – the true eternal self. Not the projected self that lies within the ego which dances on the banks of maya.

Chapter 6 Verse 11 “Select a clean spot..then once seated, strive to still your thoughts. Make your mind one-pointed in meditation and your heart will be purified.”

The heart? Yes Krishna talks about the purification of the heart which has always lept of the page for me. This is one of the first instances where Krishna is talking about bhakti – the yoga that cultivates the heart space. It is clear that Arjuna has been in his head and hung up on a very specific trip in this journey. When it’s recommended that self realization through mediation will awaken the heart Arjuna will now be able to see what is his dhamra and what isn’t. We all say many times “the journey from the head to heart can be long.” This is evident here.

After this revelation Arjuna hits a wall and expresses doubt that he can even comprehend such a thing. Arjuna says “O Krishna, the stillness of divine union which you describe is beyond my comprehension. How can the mind, which is so restless, attain lasting peace?”

How many times have we doubted our ability to continue on the journey? With yoga alone I’ve probably done more questioning than I have embracing. Like I said in earlier posts, I constantly fall into the trap of comparison. For as long as I’ve been practicing asana (10 years) I should be much more accomplished in the physical practice than I am, right? Ahhhh…this illusion is so juicy. The essence of what is maya.

Krishna says in verse 35 “But it can be conquered Arjuna, through regular practice and detachment.”

I find that this chapter, when looked at just a little differently, is directly applicable to someone engaging on a practice of yoga. The instruction is given here. Really beautiful.

Day 5 – Rejoicing in where you’re at

Chapter 5 – Renounce and Rejoice
Yoga Teacher – Ellen Bain at Equinox Marina Del Rey

In my experience I find that with many people, including myself, who embark on a spiritual path a great paradox is unearthed. When one goes deeper the question naturally arrises “why am I doing what I’m doing?” For what purpose are any of these actions I do in life? Why not just give it all up and renounce everything?

It’s a paradox because a spiritual path can give so much meaning to everything yet at the same time make everything seem small because of the realization that everything is impermanent. So what does it matter what I do? How do I find purpose in life? How do I find purpose in even the mundane?

Krishna wisely sees that the path of renunciation would not be right for Arjuna. Arjuna’s dharma is one of action or of yoga. Through the path of yoga his self inquiry or Sankhya is realized. I find this to be very wise and intuitive of Krishna because he is giving Arjuna instruction based on Arjuna’s own unique dharma and circumstance and not telling him that he must do something that doesn’t feel right to him.

Chapter 5 Verse 3 “The immature think that knowledge and action are different, but the wise see them as the same. The person who is established in one path will attain the rewards of both.”

This is a very beautiful way of saying do whatever you do with your intentions set on being unselfish. The thought gives so much purpose to everything we do because in it’s perfect essence everything we do can be an act of devotion when done with “unified abandon of all attachment.” A “supreme peace” will be realized.

Again, I’m falling back to previous themes when mirroring these teachings against my own yoga practice. The only thing that matters is that I do the word without any attachments to the results. Yoga in Los Angeles can very deceiving because the fruits of the labor are very sexy and shiny. So many people who practice in LA have great physiques or can do incredible poses with their bodies but if practice to attain those things you will most likely fall short because it never ends. The beauty of yoga is that there is nowhere to arrive to, you’re already there. The success of each pose in ones life is completely subjective and should never be compared with others. However, like I said…it’s tricky. I’d like my body to be more toned, I admit it. I’d like to be able to a forearm handstand – I admit that also. This is why it’s tricky, my ego wants a lot of things that perhaps I’m just not ready for yet or do more practice to attain.

Chapter 5 Verse 8 “Those who know this truth, who consciousness is unified, think always “I am not the doer?” While seeing or hearing….moving about…letting go or holding on…they understand that these are only the movements of the senses among the sense objects.”

When you add individuality to this concept – the idea of a unique incarnation – it takes shape because everybody’s manifestation of how the move, breath and engage with the material world in unique. Therefore, to each their own yoga. Each persons sadahna is unique.

Chapter 5 Verse 27 “Closing their eyes, steadying their breathing and focussing their attention on the center of spiritual consciousness the wise master their senses, mind and intellect through meditation. Self Realization is their only goal.”

Everything is yoga if you look at this way. Making breakfast or taking out the trash is an act of yoga because a union is needed and executed upon.

Looking forward to Chapter 6 and Govind Das at Bhakti Yoga Shala tomorrow.

NOTE – please know the word “yoga” is being used lightly and in different context through out these posts. Sometimes I use the word to mean “hatha yoga” that we just call “yoga” in the West and sometimes I use the word to refer to the all overall system of “yoga.” Most readers will know this but it’s worth pointing out anyway.

Day 4 – When in doubt, take action.

Chapter 4 – Wisdom in Action
Yoga Teacher – Heidi Rayden

Krishna – “Arjuna, cut through this doubt in your own heart with the sword of spiritual wisdom. Arise; take up the path of yoga!”

Even at the precipice of what may feel like the most hopeless bondage of mortal worry and doubt, Krishna reminds Arjuna that the wise take action always. In my own personal experience the only liberation that I’ve ever experienced has come from just putting one foot in front of the other – from just “showing up” to the dance. As Ram Dass says it’s “the only dance there is.”

There have a been a few issues that have come up for me in recent weeks that classify these times as being difficult. There are so many forms of pain that range from the inevitable (people dying, sickness, etc) to flavors that are a little more participatory like heartbreak, friendships, financial and all that. It’s all part of the journey. At the same time, it’s important for me to realize that my problems are no greater or no less than what anyone else is experiencing. We all have our stuff and all are all experiencing it through different channels.

Chapter 3 starts off with lofty mystical nuances that Krishan is merely hinting to Arjuna, much of which will appear in later chapters of The Gita. Things like reincarnation, remembering karma’s from previous births and Krishna’s all around transcendent nature all take mature form later but are teased upon here. After that is done, Krishna realizes that Arjuna is still stuck in his “stuff.” He’s still dwelling upon his current predicament of having to wage war against his own family. Because that is such a major life problem for Arjuna he can’t get passed that just yet.

Therefore, Krishna must guide Arjuna back to the material world ropes of action and inaction.

He says “What is action and what is inaction? This question has confused the greatest of sages. I will give you the secret of action, with which you can free yourself from bondage…”

“The wise see that there is action in the midst of inaction and inaction in the midst of action. Their consciousness is unified, and every act is done with complete awareness.”

“The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results…”

Krishna Das, in his kirtans, talks a lot about just returning to the practice or the chanting of the names. To just sing and go back to that. When the mind wanders, go back to that. When you’re not sure what to focus on, just go back to that. It sounds simple but it’s really not, there are many subtle layers of complexities in it. Like with every meditation, the mind will wander and start to play tricks.

In todays Yoga practice the thought of “why why why” kept going through my head. Why am I doing this? Am I trying to prove something to myself? Am I just trying to get in better shape? All of these are true. But none of them are important. The only thing that I’m committed to is using this experience as a method to return to my practice no matter what the circumstances are. When in doubt, take action. This has never failed me. The stuff that I’m going through today – attachment, expectations, longing, worry, doubt, fear – will without question cease to exist in a little while. They are stories that my mind is telling itself as a way to distract me from shining brighter.

Day 3 – The Stuff We Do

Chapter 3 – Selfless Service
Yoga Teacher – Brian Campbell at Exhale

At it’s best the practice of Hatha Yoga is a moving meditation. When breath and movement are merged and struggle ceases to exist the sensation of the senses and even thought go away for awhile and merge into the oneness of the practice. In my experience, this is the ideal state that arrises when practicing hatha yoga.

Like most practices it is a very difficult state to attain because it requires regular practice and attention. Like anything if you only do it now and then you’re not gonna be very good at it and you will only flirt with the full bounty of that actions success.

The “stuff we do” is karma yoga, it is the way of action. If we occupy our daily actions with righteous efforts and activities then we are in essence practicing karma yoga. This comes in many forms of course and is different for every persons dharma.

Krishna says in Chapter 3 “It is better to strive in ones own dharma than to succeed in the dharma of another.”

I’ve been really getting into this stuff lately with a lot of my friends on the path. The practice of bhakti opens one up to so many limitless possibilities. When the soul cries out to God in the form of kirtan God reveals back to us an awareness that puts us (hopefully) closer to what is our dharma and what isn’t. For me, it’s not black and white like “oh my dharma is to be a painter” or whatever. I’m here doing my thing and adding and subtracting the things that either work or don’t work. It’s that simple. Constantly tweaking my actions and activities that feel right to me based on the feedback I’m getting from God.

Chapter 3 of the Gita not only introduces us to the way of action but also to the three Gunas – sattva, rajas and tamas. Going in reverse our life usually goes from tamastic to sattvic. The way of action that gets us in touch with our karmas gives us the ability to lead a sattvic life. It’s something to strive to. What’s pure? What isn’t? When I get angry and lash out what in me is afraid of loving unconditionally?

“Selfish desire if found in the senses mind and intellect, misleading them and burying them in delusion. Fight with all your strength Arjuna” – Krishna

The Bhagavad Gita is a book that is rooted in action. That is why I believe it is so potent even in the 21st Century. The Gita does not necessarily support the idea of being an ascetic. It merely says that do whatever you do with a fixation on the divine – in this case Krishna. Even the mundane – do it with an act of devotion.

So if I am practicing asana for 18 days straight does this bring me closer to some realization that I’m going to be a better yogi? Maybe and maybe not. The point is to be detached from the results – this is the core of selfless service or seva. Do the stuff you do without any attachment to how it might end. Do it because it feels in alignment with the best sattvic dharma you can possibly manifest in this incarnation.

I am finding it very comforting how the Gita does touch on certain aspects of what one might experience when going through a difficult physical practice like hatha yoga. It doesn’t address these things using asana as it’s context but if you glance at the page differently you can see how the nature of Krishna’s instruction can be used for all matters in your life.

For instance – asana is not always pleasant for me. It is more than it is not or else I wouldn’t do it at all. But I struggle. By body hurts and I have to remember to get back to my breath which will lead me to the pleasure of the practice. Constant ebb and flow. Krishna supports this notion by saying “The senses have been conditioned by attraction to the pleasant and aversion to the unpleasant. Do not be ruled by the them for they are obstacles in your path.”

Later on when we see Arjuna embracing these ideas we can see him toying with the subtle ropes of the material world – the three gunas.

With love.

Day 2

Chapter 2: Self Realization
Yoga Teacher: Micheline Berry at Exhale

Day 2 began at 530 am this morning. I had to shorten my own morning bhakti practice at home so I could eat a little food and make it to Micheline Berry’s 7 am class at Exhale in Venice.

I wanted clarify a few things. The perceived struggle for me here is the act of actually going to a yoga studio for 18 days straight of challenging physical practice. I’ve done the 40 day Mark Whitwell approved home practice of 7 minutes of breath and body movement that he calls “The Promise” but feel the need to explore the physical parts that push me into a deeper surrender a little more. Mark if you’re reading this, I love you and you helped set me on my path in a huge way.

To go deeper into the physical part of this journey (which is really mental anyway FYI) the act of leaving my house and scheduling the time to engage with a teacher in a studio is very difficult for me. There are so many obstacles. Traffic, work, friends, being lazy, wanting to sleep in, etc. I can make up a myriad of reasons why this is hard to do while in the middle of my urban yuppie existence. The outpouring of support has been great so far, so much so that even a couple of friends have expressed solidarity and are doing the 18 day immersion too!

So as we stand on the obstacle laden battlefield of the senses we tend to question some of the very nature of why we do the things we do, or why we don’t do the things we want to do. Our minds will lead astray if not properly trained to focus ones innermost nature. Chapter 2 of the Gita will awaken Arjuna from despair to self-realization by teaching him about the basic principles of yoga, the soul (jiva) and sense control.

Krishna, Chapter 2: “When the senses contact sense objects, a person experiences cold or heat, pleasure or pain. These experiences are fleeting, they come and go. Bear them patiently Arjuna. “Those who are unaffected by these changes, who are the same in pleasure and pain, are truly wise and fit for immortality. Assert your strength and realize this!”

Such is the case when asana feels painful, difficult and beyond a certain level of comfort. Krishnas position here was an important one for me to remember when I was in Parivrtta Parsvakonasana (Revolved Side Angle Pose) this morning. My legs are hurting these days, but the pain when in this pose will pass. Just a few breaths into it I can begin to settle. Yoga isn’t about pushing oneself to the point of discomfort and injury but it is about walking the line between what is real and what is perceived.

Krishna goes to tell Arjuna why he should fight in this battle “Considering your dharma you should not vacillate. For a warrior nothing is higher than a fight against evil…for it comes as an open gate to heaven.”

Is it my dharma to have a master asana practice? Probably not. But is it my dharma to seek wisdom and peace within my own incarnation at this time ridding myself of all the nonsense that goes in between my ears? Yes. This practice is a manifestation of that. It’s setting out to finish something that I set out to do.

“On this path effort never goes to waster, and there is no failure. Even a little effort toward spiritual awareness will protect you from the greatest fear” – Sri Krishna Chapter 2

And so it is.

Day 1

Chapter 1: The War Within
Yoga teacher: Stephanie Phelan at Maha Yoga

Today is Day 1 of an 18 day yoga immersion that I’m setting out on. The twist is that I’m doing one asana class a day for each chapter of The Bhagavad Gita. Eighteen classes for eighteen chapters. About mid way through the day (today) it occurred to me to go forth on this little experiment. So this is not something that is pre meditated or that I’ve put much thought into. However, a number of things fell into place today that makes this feel like it’s a worthwhile thing to do.

One, I’ve really been feeling the need to re-engage into my asana practice. It’s been sporadic lately and I feel a little disconnected from my body so that I’d like to remedy that. For as long as I’ve been practicing asana I’m not very good at it. I realize that just because there are some things that I can’t do physically, even after all this time, it doesn’t make me any less of a yogi but it does create a personal chasm in my own personal practice that I’d someday like to fill. Second, I started rereading the Gita this morning as I do a couple of times a year and the thought occurred to why not combine the two activities. The Gita is my core manual for a spiritual life and if one looks closer perhaps there could be some correlations between the wisdom that Krishna speaks and ones personal struggles (and triumphs) when engaging on a mini immersion like 18 days of consecutive yoga.

Additionally, it’s an interesting undertaking because the Gita has nothing to do with asana and asana has very little do with the Gita. I’m an expert on neither which also creates an interesting opportunity to reveal little nuggets of clarity that haven’t appeared to me before. Blogging about this will be a self indulgent mess at times but maybe through that mess a discipline will arise that will force me to put pen to paper thus holding me accountable to finishing all 18 days in a row. I’m lazy so this may be the perfect way to work through that!

In Chapter 1 the stage is set for the battle that our protagonist, Arjuna, must undergo. Arjuna must engage in a fierce battle against his own family members to restore control and dignity to the kingdom that is rightly his and his brothers. Their evil blind uncle Dhritarashtra is one the other side mobilizing his armies to take down Arjuna and his brothers on the battle field. Right as the battle is about to begin Arjuna sees the internal conflict and begins to question everything about the nature of life, war, virtues, purpose, God and so much more. The good news that Arjuna’s charioteer and most trusted spiritual advisor also happens to be the supreme personality of God himself, Krishna. So while in peril Arjuna has the right guy around to ask questions to. The answer to these questions come from Krishna in the chariot on the battle field and is “The Song of God.”

In Chapter 1 the core metaphor of battle and war is set. In many orthodox Hindu traditions the war element is taken quite literally under the understanding that while war is inherently evil it is also the dharma of a certain class to fight just wars. However, in the mystic traditions of ancient India the war is a metaphor for the wars and battles that we must all fight on any given day. The great sages, saints and rishis of ancient India are mystics and this is the point of view that I relate with and will discuss. It’s a very important distinction and what that must be clarified.

The war within my own mind on whether or not I have the ability, discipline and wherewithal to accomplish a modest task like 18 days in a row of yoga is potent and there is no better manual than the Gita to reflect on my progress. The war within my own mind has also been very juicy lately. Not in a self doubting torturous way but in more of a reflective way that is forcing me to look at my journey with more sensitivity to the things that I really want.

Day 1 of Yoga was good. No struggle. Good flow. Onward. 7 am class tomorrow morning.